Promise me: No. Chicken. Dance.
We need a DJ for the wedding. Which inexplicably is now less than 7 months away. I just noticed that on the nagging countdown timer on the upper right corner of this page & now I’m completely distracted & panicked.
What was I talking about?
Oh, DJ. So, I’ve realized throughout this wedding planning process that I’m a smidge of a control freak. Maybe not control freak so much, it’s just this: when I do things, I know they’re done. And most likely perfect. When anyone else does things, I have a sneaking suspicion that they are completely opposite of what I would ever want.
Having learned this about myself, and having come to terms with the fact that I do not have the 47 hours in a day required to do all this stuff myself, I made a list of things I could live without controlling. Things that, should I put them in the (legitimately) capable hands of my fiance & should they (inexplicably) go horribly awry, I could live with the aftermath.
So he got the DJ pick. We have utterly opposite taste in music so finding someone who could make us both happy was going to be a job within itself.
I had one rule. And I wanted it in writing. If the DJ plays “The Chicken Dance”, he is not getting paid. Period. We are not traditional people, we are not having a traditional wedding & I do not want any hint of traditional cheeseball DJ antics. Despite our painfully opposite music taste, this we completely agreed on.
After hours of research & reviews, Richie found a clear front runner & we set up a meeting with Scratch Weddings (http://scratchweddings.com). Here’s what I dug about them:
1) Scratch has over 700 skilled, trained, marquee-level DJs nationwide who have done over 15,000 events for over six million guests.
2) They’ve collaborated with Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, Snoop Dogg & Michael Jackson. (Seriously- good enough for Snoop, good enough for me.)
3) Scratch Weddings offers the option to select from a number of DJs paired to each couple based on their personal style, taste and musical interests with online access to DJ bios, photos, videos and music mixes.
4) Couples are assigned a professional wedding music manager to work with them, their wedding planner, venue and their DJ to handle all musical details of their wedding. There’s guaranteed DJ replacement in the event of an emergency and liability insurance.
5) Scratch Weddings earned the 2011 “Bride’s Choice Award” on WeddingWire, the 2011 “Best of Weddings” award on The Knot and consistently receives five out of five stars on sites like Yelp.
Personally, I like that there are hundreds of DJs. So god forbid a freak chainsaw accident happened and our DJ was unable to spin a record, they’ve got backups on deck. And Richie is geeking out over the fact that they have a DJ school founded by Jam Master Jay of Run DMC. In fact, he kind of wants to enroll.
So we’re going with Scratch!
Here’s what’s cool- based on their first impressions of our (impossible) musical tastes, they emailed us links with bios & pics* for their top 6 recommended DJs:
DJ Trife: http://bit.ly/kE9S6U
DJ Vida Ventura: http://bit.ly/zB5EZb
DJ Dan Chaves: http://bit.ly/ks5wTA
DJ Stef Nava: http://bit.ly/zy36zG
DJ Jon Blak: http://bit.ly/ApHuJA
DJ Alias: http://bit.ly/mcoSjA
*Um, I’m sorry but pics are IMPORTANT! Call me some hybrid of insecure &/or shallow, but I am SO not having the stereotypical NYC supermodel DJ spinning our wedding. Because I’m a chick. And I’m allowed to be occasionally irrational about these things.
The next step is to narrow down those DJs based on their mixing styles (check it out- they really do have different vibes!). Then we’ll go in and meet with our fave who will spin live for us. How cool is that?! I’ll take some video of it & share with you guys on here.
Best of all, they’re completely on board with our “no chicken dance” policy.
If my body’s a temple…then I painted a wall?
I got a tattoo.
Sh*t, I planned on having some big build up to reveal that fact, but I got excited typing and skipped right to the good part.
Anyway, it’s not really wedding-related so I don’t know if I should even be posting it here, but damn if it doesn’t fit under the category “Fine, Change”.
I get asked about the “7” tattoo on my shoulder all the time so I thought I’d take to the blog to explain my ink a bit. Mostly because the next 20 times I’m asked, I can just forward an easy link 🙂
It's just my number.
I got the 7 a few years ago. All I can say about it is that 7 is just my number. It seems to follow me around every where I go. My birthday’s March 7th, every significant date in my life has been on 7th (or 17th, etc). If I’m going to win money in roulette, it’s going to be on a 7. It felt like it was on my shoulder long before it was there. There are a lot of symbolic, spiritual, meaningful associations with 7’s, like:
-The number of notes in a major scale
-The number of days of Creation
-The number of stellar objects in our Solar System visible to the naked eye
-The number of colors in the rainbow
-The number of chakras
-The number of spots on a ladybug
But none of those we’re responsible for the ink. It’s just…my number.
SO, when I decided to tat up again it had to be something that was equally meaningful. I’ve been thinking about writing something on my wrist for a while now. I wanted something that was powerful to me, something that would put my head in the right mental space, something that would inspire me every time I saw it. I think the wrist is particularly intense tattoo real estate; it’s literally a pulsating life point on your body. So I wanted a phrase that was aligned with my philosophical way of life.
I started understanding Law of Attraction (more specifically, Abraham-Hicks) a few years ago & it’s changed just about every part of my life. I’ve learned that happiness is a conscious choice. Rather than just observe life and let the good and bad things I see dictate my mood, I choose each thought with care and make a conscious effort to focus on the positive in a situation. I try to see the beauty in every person & focus on things I appreciate every day.
We all need reminders, and I can have just as effed up a day as the next guy, so writing something on my wrist that reminds me to stay focused on the positive is legitimately helpful.
Come to me this thing I want
The phrase “Come to me, this thing I want” is so beautiful to me. It comes from an Esther Hicks quote in which she says something to the effect of:
It’s a Universe of inclusion. Come to me, this thing I want or come to me, this thing I don’t want. In other words, whatever you think about, you get.
I don’t want to waste my time worrying or…energetically pre-planning negative events. Seeing these words every day helps me reframe. When I know what I don’t want, I more clearly know what I DO want.
What is it you want?
Focusing on that, versus the LACK of that is so much more effective. Sounds new age-y (and I get that that freaks some people out), but it’s just science. Ask Einstein.
Smart guy.
And for the law of attraction skeptics out there, let’s say this is all a bunch of crap. Worst case scenario from consciously focusing on the positive? You feel better! Thinking about stuff that makes you happy…makes you happy. So even if you can’t wrap your head around the whole “manifest destiny” concept, finding a little better thought than the one you currently hold on a subject will lift your overall mood. And that joy can lift the spirits of people around you. And THAT joy can rub off on the people around them. And (CUE SWELLING MUSIC!) suddenly the world’s a better place 🙂
Side note- if you’re into this stuff, I highly recommend my friend, Scott Raposa’s music. He takes Abraham quotes & mixes it into really amazing ambient electronica tracks. Check it out: http://music.scottraposa.com/album/law-of-attraction-directly-from-source
Big thanks to the beautiful and talented Miss D’Jo at Lark Tattoo (http://www.larktattoo.com/index.php/artists/missdjo/0 )
Rach
Richie’s blog-
Hey friends, just wanted to make sure you knew about Richie’s blog. It’s a tough read, but if you’ve ever loved and lost a pet, you’ll understand. We miss you, Elvis. http://seeyouatthebridge.wordpress.com/
Crucial Lessons from the Engagement Party
Author: Rachel Fine
Credit: Huffington Post
After 4 months of engagement, we finally had our engagement party. Which, from a party-throwing perspective, is like a tiny practice run for the big day. I learned a few crucial and translatable lessons for the wedding itself and I’d be remiss if I didn’t share these with my fellow brides-to-be.
Lesson 1: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
I got inspired. Unfortunately it was about five days before the party. And I should clarify that when I’m inspired, regardless of obstacles, I will move heaven & earth to make it happen. I’m a big “don’t-take-no-for-an-answer” type chick.
Oh, I should also clarify that sometimes my come-hell-or-high-water inspirations are completely terrible ideas that are really just unchecked impulses running on overdrive.
So when I saw the customizable candies who shant be named (but are currently melting on my shelf…not in my guests’ hands…) I had to have them. I uploaded pictures of Richie and me and wrote a particularly clever “R&R” message on the back. All systems go.
When they arrived the next day looking like complete crap, I was devastated. The customer service rep calmly explained that the black background behind us in the picture is what caused us to look bald on the candy.
Yup. Read that right.
He was certain he could fix the order using better pictures and still get it to me before the party Saturday. I bought little boxes with ribbons so we could fill them with candy and send home with guests. So cute, right?!
Thursday came and went. FRIDAY CAME AND WENT. At this point, I’m officially panicked but delusionally optimistic that I could still stuff the boxes the next morning, pre-party. By Saturday noon, I was in full meltdown mode, simultaneously speaking to a Fed Ex supervisor on one phone and the candy company on another. I realized things might be getting slightly out of hand when I literally ran into the street to stop a delivery truck (sadly, not on my driver’s route).
We had to leave for the party at 3pm. At 2:45 I officially threw in the towel. There were tears. There were hiccups. There was vodka.
In hindsight, I’m not even sure where the candy would have fit in. We totally didn’t need it. I just get so caught up in executing the impossible dream — almost from an ego perspective — that it becomes really hard to adapt and let go. I can’t imagine that every single detail is going to go perfectly on my wedding day and I don’t want to spend that morning going through this kind of neurotic hell for something that’s ultimately not that important.
The candy got here Monday. In a highly related note, that’s the same day I got a full refund. So in a glass-half-full kind of way, at least I ended up with two 5-lb bags of chocolate. And we’re only bald in half of them.
Lesson 2: LET’S USE NAMES!
“GUESS WHO THIS IS?!?” Richie says to me, his arms outstretched towards a mystery tattooed girl who’d just arrived at the party, big goofy grins on both their faces.
“Umm, oh my gosh!” I stammer, completely stalling. Names are running through my head at a fevered pace. Not even names really, summaries of people I’d heard mentioned but never met. That bartender that had a crush on him. The tattoo artist that did his sleeve. The chick his best friend was dating.
Seconds are ticking by like hours and I’m shooting Richie my best “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, HELP ME!” eyes. He utterly misses them and responds with a mortifying “YOU TOTALLY KNOW WHO THIS IS! GUESS!”. They’re both looking at me, eyebrows raised in anxious anticipation, frozen in an excited tableau. I’m starting to sweat.
“YOU!!!!” I try, but they’re not buying it. I’m nearing full on fight-or-flight mode, and leaning heavily towards the sprinting option. Like a gift from the benevolent gods above, mystery girl’s boyfriend swoops in and saves me with an outstretched hand and a proper introduction.
Rest assured, Richie is now crystal clear that when his Great Aunt’s cousin approaches us at the wedding, he better damned well use her name.
Lesson 3: EAT SOMETHING!
I know there’s a definitive line that separates “sexy/a little tipsy” from “drunk/completely stupid”. And I pride myself on knowing scientifically where that line is. I have the advanced mathematical capabilities to calculate the precise number of sips per hour to keep me on the pretty side of that equation. I will concede, however, that there’s one element that effs up my math and that is food. Because when F = zero, R = trashed.
When you make multiple trips to the bar for another glass of Bordeaux, you’ve got a running count of exactly where you are in this formula. Or at least a nagging deja vu that might alert you to impending disaster. But when you’re holding your wine glass and magical fairies keep sneaking up behind you to refill it when you’re not looking, you better hope you’ve got a solid food base to counteract the storm a-brewin’. Apparently I spent more time playing rousing games of “Guess Who?” with mystery guests than I did actually eating the delicious food I was so insistent on. Because before you could say “sloppy drunk”, I was reliant (or so I’ve heard) entirely on sign language to communicate. And no, I don’t know sign language. Even a little.
Lesson 4: STOP AND ENJOY
I feel like I almost missed my own party. It was such a whirlwind of craziness, I didn’t take that second to stop and appreciate being surrounded by the people I love until it was almost over. You have to make yourself stop, take a breath, look around you and soak it all in. While you’re still sober, I mean.
And that’s…four to grow on,
Expansion in the Blogosphere!
So, most of you know I’m now a double blogger. In that I’m writing not one but TWO blogs these days, the second being for the Huffington Post’s new wedding section:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-fine
And because you guys have known me for a while now & I can pretty much say whatever I want here without fearing complete misunderstanding, I gotta take a sec to share my first HuffPo blog…and, more specifically, the battery of comments that followed it. Because THIS you gotta see.
I Now Pronounce You… Girlie
by Rachel Fine, Huffington Post Contributing Writer
Why, hello readers! My name is (currently) Rachel Fine and I’m beyond honored to be writing for the Huffington Post. Thank you for joining me on this, my inaugural blog posting.
Before we get started on the intricate minutiae of going batsh*t insane trying to plan a wedding over the next 12 months and 2 days, I think you should know a little about me. First off, I mentioned my name. And I should say some more things about that, particularly in light of the fact that despite its permanency for the last 29 years, I’m trying very hard to embrace changing it. You can’t have a last name like “Fine” (which yes, is my real last name — and yes, sucked as an awkward kid) without some attachment.
It’s been fantastic from a career perspective. Working in music and television, it’s lent itself nicely to critiques (“Fine music to unwind to!”) and show titles (like Fine Time, the new show I’m working on for Howard TV).
So when Richie Wilson proposed to me a couple of months ago, the first thing that went through my head (after a minute of complete exhilaration and happy tears about spending my life with the man I love) was some sort of panicked mental expletive about trading the snappy and entertainment industry-friendly “Fine” for the, umm, sort of plain “Wilson” that I’ll be sharing with 650,293 others. Plus, can we please discuss how uncomfortably close it is to Rachel Bilson?! (who is actually on my TV right now promoting some new show that does not contain any sort of fun play off the word “Bilson.” Sigh.)
Now let me tell you about the second thought that went through my head.
It’s a lot to adjust to, the idea of marriage. I don’t know why, but I’ve always identified strongly as a very “Independent Woman.” As a teen, I was the only female in a nationally competitive drum line. Prior to working full time in entertainment, I was a Senior VP in corporate America. I’ve always thrived in a man’s world, and to do that, you almost gotta shut off your girlie side. I’m starting to think there may be a whole generation of chicks like me who grew up with “Free to Be… You and Me” on repeat and are now having a tough time embracing their inner girlie-ness.
The idea of excelling at any domestic-type activity always had a Taming of the Shrew vibe to me. As if cooking my man a pot roast would somehow invite the destruction of my inner being via a 50 foot Godzilla version of Donna Reed. And seriously, this underlying belief system has been in place since kindergarten, when I vehemently declared blue as my favorite color due entirely to the teacher’s strict insistence on pink nap time blankets for the girls.
Here’s a fun example of how not kidding I am about my utter suckitude at domestication: About 4 years ago I got a hankerin’ for slice-and-bake cookies. I made 4 of them. The gas company called me immediately (I swear to you this is true) highly concerned about a probable gas leak due to the dramatic spike in usage versus the prior 10 years. Because I turned my oven on (or stove? I always mix those two words up. The inside part that I now use for storage, not the top part).
Luckily I can order in like a champ.
My point is, the idea of being somebody’s wife kinda freaks me out! Am I alone here, or are other modern day Rosie the Riveters out there struggling in silence?
And now I gotta plan this wedding. And I’m supposed to have highly developed lifelong preferences on the cakes and the dresses and the flowers for the big day of my dreams. And I like… good cake. And… pretty dresses. And flowers… that smell good. But beyond that, I seriously have no clue where to start.
So maybe you can help. I’m gonna need a lot of advice over the next 12 months and 2 days.
Something blue,
Rachel
—
Relatively innocuous, no? So when I saw 90 people fighting in the comment section, I was pretty surprised. Here are a couple highlights for your perusal (in fairness I’m grabbing all the whack ones, not the awesome people who were supportive and insightful):
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Just curious, why do you believe “independence” is “rarely cooking” (it is the example you gave of your definition of an independent “self-image”)? You honestly think women today who cook aren’t independent? Did it ever occur to you that maybe people (man or woman) cook because it’s cheaper and healthier, not because they are conforming to a dated stereotype?
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Don’t do it. Love him forever w/out marriage will keep it fresh. Marriage is great for a few people but most divorce.If you are lucky enough to have love cherish it .Why ruin it ?
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I have zero interest in marriage. Having someone occupy my space for more than 2 days makes my skin crawl.
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I think you would be well advised to drop the marriage idea, at least for now.
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Hey, I have a suggestion – dont get married.
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You will be great wife just the way that you are just like you were a great girlfriend however you may need to step it up a notch in the cooking department
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Well, you can blame parasites for your dilemma. You ladies need a man in your life so that any of your children down the road have some chance of being healthy in the chronic arms race that our species (and others) wage against parasites. As Darwin argued, the nature of men is shaped by the choices made by women (female choice). Your husband to be may not have a fancy, colorful, peacock’s tail, but he certainly has some virtues that you found attractive. If you are lucky, you have chosen well. May you both have a happy life together!
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Sounds to me like you don’t even know how to be your own person, nevermind being someone else’s partner. Call off the wedding and wait a minute. You’re not ready.
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my question is, if you aren’t excited to become a wife and form a partnership (and therefore no longer be just an individual)… why, why, why would you get married???
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The point I don’t understand in this article is wanting to be independent, but also be married. Those things contradict each other.
—
And there you have it.
Here’s the thing. Any time you’re in the public eye, you’re on the less fun end of a very critical “fan” base. And 95% of the time, I let that stuff roll off my back- in the words of the great Bonnie Raitt, I can’t make you love me if you don’t. So these comments didn’t hit my heart on a personal level (puhleeze- if I can handle 4 pages on a fan board about my massive, giant, horrific, disgusting nose without running to a surgeon*, I can handle anything). But these comments were just WEIRD. Like maybe they really misunderstood me? Maybe I wasn’t clear in my writing? Or maybe it’s all part of a bigger “sign of the times” debate happening globally about gender roles & identity? Interesting either way, wanted to hear your thoughts since you guys know me better.
xoxo,
R
*yet. No promises.
The Engagement Party
We FINALLY had our engagement party (and I FINALLY have a minute to write & tell you about it!)
I knew I wanted to have a party while my dad was in town. And I knew he was going to be in town a good three months before he was here. Yet somehow, we were less than two weeks out and I still had an unsent evite sitting open on my computer, missing such crucial details as “location”.
Richie & I knew we wanted to do something nice for our engagement party. We could agree on three things: we wanted good food, I’m all about atmosphere & an open bar was a requirement. It doesn’t sound that challenging, but six venues later, we weren’t any closer to finding a spot that wasn’t either lacking one of those components or wanted the equivalent of our future kids college fund for three afternoon hours on a Saturday. Ok, slight exaggeration, but SERIOUSLY, one place quoted us $6500. (in state tuition-ish, no?!)
Thank the good lord that my friend Sandy (aka “Cruise Director”, so named for her extensive knowledge of all things awesome in NYC) suggested one of our old haunts, Cibar in Union Square. Over the past 5 years, I can remember (fuzzily) many late nights that ended in that pink velvety lounge sipping dirty martinis with my girls. The vibe is awesome, the drinks are amazing & the snacks rule. And what I came to learn, working with Lisa & Gina, is that the staff could not have been more accommodating. Next time you’re in NYC and looking for a hotspot, let me Cruise Direct you straight to Cibar: http://cibarlounge.com
Look how cute this place is!
So after working out the (completely reasonable!) details with Gina, I went in to meet with Lisa & plan the menu. I’ll share what we did food & drink-wise, in case you’re planning a party yourself.
Beer: Amstel & Stella
Wine: Bordeaux & Pinot Grigio
Signature Cocktails: Green Apple Vodka Martini with a sprinkle of cinnamon & a http://bulldoggin.com Blood Orange Martini
Food: hummus & crudite, cheese plates, apple & brie quesadillas, chicken skewers, edamame, mini pigs in a blanket, mini kobe burgers, pizza & mini cupcakes. SO DELISH!
(Side note, my favorite part of the menu planning was tasting all the signature cocktail options. It’s a serious job. And must be taken seriously. At least until you stumble out.)
The evening was a blast. And I remember that primarily in hindsight by looking at the pictures photographic genius Bennet Cobliner (http://bennetcobliner.com) took. Because I may have had one too many to remember 100% of the details. But what I can piece together via the photographic evidence was just fantastic 😉
Here are a few of my favorite pics-
How can you not love this pic?!
This is Angelo, Richie's best man/hetero lifemate
This is Tim, my music partner & great friend. He co-wrote the album with me.
My dad & me 🙂
Gotta love Ronnie.
This is one of my best friends, Ellie. Not only is she half of http://melandel.com, she's also now legally an officiant & marrying Richie & me!
Any SGU fans? David Blue (aka my college buddy) in da house.
I'm not certain how this picture came about, but I'm very happy it did.
Our friends in Cibar's backyard
I would love to know what they were discussing here.
Ronnie's speech was classic.
Daddy’s Little Girl.
I love this pic of us.
I am- unashamedly- a “daddy’s girl”. I like to think we share the same brain (which means he’s actually thinking the same thing…right…NOW). I mean seriously, it’s creepy. He doesn’t have to finish his sentences, I intrinsically know where he’s going in any given conversation.
My sisters got married when they were younger & with or near my parents. So my dad had the opportunity to plan first hand. And he took great pride in it. When I was a kid, he ran hotels and restaurants across the country and had access to hook ups on the best of the best for their weddings. He still tells me about the extravagant champagne & caviar brands served to the guests and I methodically ooh & aah (despite the fact that I secretly have no clue what he’s talking about).
But alas, as a grown up, I’m living in the big apple while my pops’ is in…THE BIG ORANGE (aka Florida! OMG, I’m totally a genius right now. I can’t believe I just stumbled on that one! Although, of course, my dad just thought of it too). It’s killing him not to be here throwing the party of a lifetime for the baby of the family. Not only is he geographically distant, I’m an adult now. I have a highly developed sense of personal style that I want reflected in the wedding. My sisters we’re just north of 20 when they got hitched. At that age, I would have needed my dad to handle the details or the pink sparkly feather covered lunch box I was using as a purse would have expanded into a horrendous wedding theme. I’m almost 30 now- I got a handle on what it is I want in the world (and the venue. and the dress. and the chocolate fountain of my dreams).
But I do want his help. And I trust that words like “warming kitchen” and “sterno” actually mean something to him, whereas I tend to just nod knowingly and let my mind wander to Jersey Shore when confronted with vendors pontificating on these topics.
So I need ideas. How can I involve my dad from a distance? Anyone been in a similar position with their parents & have any advice?
Here’s one thing I’m working on- he’ll be in town in a couple weeks & I’m planning The Official Engagement Party- which, I’ve been told, is a thing we’re supposed to do. Do not get me started on the process of running around town to pull off an obligatory and affordable party on short notice with snotty event planners who scoff (and charge like their FAR from scoffing) at my little 40-person soiree. Gigantic sigh.
xoxo,
R
Hot Up Boot Camp.
I want to be HOT on my wedding day. Not every day hot, exceptional hot. I want to look back at those pictures when I’m old & wrinkly and be all “DAMMMMNNNN!”. I don’t even use phrases like “I’ll be all ‘DAMMMNNNN!'”, but that’s seriously the level of hot I’m looking for. I intend to put a Kardashian to shame, that’s all I’m saying.
So I’m trying to figure out what goes into that hotting up process.
Let’s start with the obvious. My dream weight is a buck 17 (perhaps you’ve noticed my obsession with sevens…and yup, it’s pretty much that arbitrary). I can’t break 122 to save my life. And frankly, that’s working hard for it- I rest comfortably at 124. I know there are people who would roll their eyes at my quest to drop 5 lbs, but let me tell you, I’ve come a long way to get to the point where 5 lbs matters. I look at working out as my job (and a caloric penance of sorts for eating total and complete sh*t all day). 117 is the lowest healthy BMI for my height and I think being a healthy weight is more important than being Kate Moss. Besides, I’m built too naturally Jessica Rabbit-esque to risk looking emaciated (I’ve gotta have at least 10 lbs in knockers alone?!). My goal may sound crazy, but I have yet to meet a girl who is 100% satisfied with her weight as it stands. And while I think I look fine in person- I’m a size 2 and I don’t have “problem areas” to defensively dress- I recognize (and am thankful) that my world is often on camera & that cameras completely suck balls, as far as the whole adding 5 lbs thing goes. Point being, I want to be 117.
(I'm way more the one on the right)
So there’s that.
Also on the hot up list- I’m doing laser hair removal. Ok, that wont necessarily show up on wedding pictures, but come on! Who doesn’t want baby smooth legs all the time?? Plus, there was a groupon. So a couple months before the wedding, I’ll be relatively hairless.
Annnnd while I’m at it- I’m getting a tattoo removed. Don’t you worry- I’d never touch my “7”. This one’s a smidge south- the ‘ol “tramp stamp” was such an awesome idea in college but much like Crystal Pepsi, it just doesn’t pass the test of time. There should be a law that you have to take some emotional maturity exam before they can start inking you. Or maybe move the age limit to 25. I’m just saying you need to know what it is you truly stand for before you permanently declare it on your skin. I kick around ideas for new tattoos all the time- I don’t think I’m done with the ink. But I feel more settled into who I am at this point in my life & I don’t think any new work would be the result of a drunken stumble into a shady parlor. Side note on removal: I’m fairly certain having a limb amputated is less painful. You’ve been warned.
I’m willing to say that I know all of this is a little screwy. I get that the Utopian version of me would look lovingly in a mirror and find peace & self-acceptance & unicorns & rainbows & valium. I was inspired and slightly horrified by http://www.ayearwithoutmirrors.com , Kjerstin Gruys self-imposed mirror ban for the year leading up to her wedding- have you heard about this? How the eff she’s avoiding mirrors for a year is beyond me (although in fairness, she doesn’t get picked apart on “fan” sites, so you gotta give me a little room for neurosis). I give the girl props. And would offer the girl xanax.
But I digress.
Here’s my favorite part of the story- Richie’s jumped in my hot up for the wedding boat! We have a dentist (periodontist, actually) that we adore here in NYC, Nicholas Toscano, DDS ( http://www.manhattanperiodontist.com ). He does all our dental work- we both did deep cleanings over the summer & I have a whitening hobby (slash mild obsession) that Dr. Toscano assists with. He’s just a good dude, does a great job, really cares about his patients & pretty much treats our teeth like they were gold capped gangsta gems 🙂
Although Richie had braces twice as a kid, they never really “took”. So he sat down with Dr. Toscano (follow http://twitter.com/DrToscanoDDS !) to see if there was anything he could do to permanently fix his teeth. And while you’d never know it to look at OR talk to Richie…he now has braces! Dr. Toscano did Richie’s Invisalign. So in about 6 months, Richie’s teeth will look amazing. I didn’t know anything about Invisalign, but I’m completely blown away. You don’t see them! You can take them out! I’m not sure why anyone would get the old school metal train tracks with this technology readily available.
Richie looks fantastic in that lipstick shade, no?
Oh- and here’s the coolest part. Richie trains in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu almost every night. And Dr. Toscano didn’t want Richie to have all that time training with a mouthguard in his mouth instead of his Invisalign. So he’s creating CUSTOM INVISALIGN MOUTHGUARDS for Richie!! How cool is that?!
So that’s the plan. Don’t get me wrong, I would marry Richie with imperfect teeth as quickly as he’d marry me with stubbly legs and an outdated tattoo. But the wedding is kind of a natural hot up deadline. It’s nice to set some life goals that we can accomplish over the next twelve months, three weeks and one day.
xoxo,
R
The Cake Tasting.
So, I finally have a second to tell you about the epic day Richie & I sat in a coffee shop with http://alittlesomethinsweet.com founder/cake designer/artistic guru, Adam Beckworth.
Let me set the stage. I was starving. I had strategically not eaten that morning in order to fully appreciate the freecakertunity (in hindsight, I don’t recommend that, as my sugar buzz & subsequent crashing were ones for the record book).
We met in a quaint little coffee shop. Richie & I were excitedly waiting with palate cleansing bottles of water on the ready. Adam walked in with a little picnic basket and joined us.
Umm, how cute is he?? 🙂
We chatted for a bit (side note, I completely love this guy- he’s so much fun!) and then he proceeded to unpack our delicacies. I can’t even believe how adorably organized his system is.
Before.
And I’m in HEAVEN. The cakes were AMAZING- so moist & flavorful. The frostings were rich & delicious.
Richie & I immediately start chowing but realize quickly that we need to slow it down so we save enough of the cake samples to pair up with the different frosting samples- each combination is so different and unique!
Here’s what we tasted-
Cake:
Malted Vanilla cake
Red Velvet cake
Roasted Banana cake
Dark Chocolate Devil’s Food cake
Espresso Bourban Chocolate Fudge cake
Frostings:
Whipped Marscapone
Malted Sweet Cream Buttercream
Peanut infused Buttercream with French Sea Salt and Candied Peanuts
Milk Chocolate Ganache
Dark Chocolate Fudge Buttercream
And yeah, we did some damage 🙂
After.
The coolest part was, when you combined the cakes and frostings in different ways, you can create completely amazing flavor profiles!
Ultimately, these were our three favorites combinations:
-Red Velvet cake with Mascarpone Frosting
(This one was so light & delicious. Plus I feel like everyone loves red velvet)
-Banana Cake with Milk Chocolate Ganache and Dark Chocolate Fudge Frosting
(I would have never thought banana + wedding cake would be in the same sentence but it was DELICIOUS. Very chocolate covered banana, but in a mild, cakey way)
-Dark Chocolate Devil’s Food cake with Milk Chocolate Ganache and Peanut Buttercream with Sea Salt and Candied Peanuts
(Holy eff, this one was insane. And my favorite. It’s got the salty/sweet thing going on, like a chocolate covered pretzel. I can’t even describe this one & do it justice)
Who says we have to just pick one?
Overall, the day was amazing, the cake was amazing, Adam was amazing. This was definitely my favorite part of the wedding planning to date.
Side note, Adam just posted some new cake pics on his website- I had to share. These cakes were for a CAT. Well, for people, but in honor of a famous cat at the Algonquin Hotel in NYC.
Seriously, he's amazing.
Love it!
Definitely the perfect cat cake.
Adam opened my eyes to what’s possible as far as wedding cakes go & how to break out of the non-traditional rut. I’m thinking about asking him to write a guest blog on the topic because I know there are others out there who want a funky, personalized, unique, kick ass wedding like we do 🙂
xoxo,
R
Wedding Weekend: Richard & Kristin Christy
I’ve attended a good number of weddings. But now, in the midst of planning my own, I’m seeing the entire event through a whole new set of eyes. Case in point- last weekend’s wedding of two of amazing people, Richard Christy & Kristin Jenco (aka Kristy Christy).
Richard & Kristin
Richard & Kristin are two of my favorite people. They are kind, genuine & an absolute blast to hang out with. I was honored to share their wedding with them.
I was also excited to see how a few things I’ve thought about doing in theory ended up working in actuality. For instance- no formal sit down dinner. The Christy’s had great passed appetizers and then buffet stations. It was really nice not to have the flow of the evening dictated to us- we never had to stop the party & sit, waiting to be served. When we were hungry, we ate. Easy!
Another thing I was happy to see was the reception held at the same location as the wedding, immediately following it. We’re planning to do the same thing- we’re going to get married & start the party there ASAP. Why kill hours in between and make people travel? Especially if you’re not getting married in a religious location where it might be inappropriate to have a reception. It was great to enjoy a quick, fun ceremony and then immediately celebrate the hell out of it.
Another was the flip flop basket. I’m a HUGE fan of the flip flop basket, ever since I first heard about it a few years ago. The basic idea is that most women hit a point where your ridiculously stylish shoes start to strike you as just ridiculous & your forced with the option of sitting immediately or risking amputation. So why not change into a brand new pair of flip flops, available in assorted sizes & provided by the bride & groom? Easy solution & we all keep dancing. In fact, I’m SUCH a fan of the flip flops, that I decided to make Kristin a special bridal pair as part of her gift. Check em out:
Seriously, how awesome are these?
Yup, those jingle bells do jingle with every step.
I wanted them to be super comfortable because I figured her feet would be killing her. So I went fuzzy.
So comfy!
(I included 12,000 pictures of them because they took me a solid week to make)
Speaking of creative gift components, I also made them chalices of sorts, based on what I guessed liquor consumption levels might be 😉
These look about the right size.
Overall, the wedding was an absolute blast. What I most admired was the sense of Richard & Kristin that I got from the evening. It was a true reflection of who they are. There was no formality or pomp & circumstance about the night- it was just their kind of party. And I think that’s my biggest take away. I want my wedding to be a true reflection of us. One hell of a party that shows our spirit, our sense of style, our idea of a perfect night.
Richard & Kristin, I wish you a lifetime of happiness & I love you so, so much.
Before I sign off, I thought I’d share a few more of my favorite pics from the wedding. Enjoy!
xoxo
R
About to head out to the venue!
In the limo & on our way!
Having a blast!
George Takei always makes a wedding more fun.
With Claudio from Richard's favorite band, Coheed and Cambria.
The infamous hot Lisa G pic discussed on air. She looked great!
And my favorite of the professional pics-
Photo by http://bscphoto.com
Fine, change. 