Monthly Archives: August 2012
Guest Blog by Ellie Dvorkin
Hello, Gorgeous People!
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ellie, and thanks to the willingness of the Universal Life Church to issue me a certificate of ordination, I will be officiating the wedding ceremony of Rachel and Richie this September. You may call me Father Ellie (I like it, even though I am a female), or The Reverend Blue Jeans (which is what I thought Neil Diamond was saying in his song, “Forever in Blue Jeans”, when I was a little girl).
But wait… there’s MORE. As the only one of Rachel’s oldest and dearest friends who actually lives in New York, it fell upon me to oversee the planning of Rachel’s Bachelorette Party Part 1 (Part 2 is a strip club related non-family friendly official co-bachelor/bachelorette filled with a debauchery inappropriate for some of the Part 1 guest list).
Planning this party stressed me out more that I let Rachel know, because for some reason, while I am super calm about conducting the wedding proceedings, party-planning makes me panicky. Everyone’s enjoyment is in the hands of the organizer! It’s a lot of responsibility! Exclamation points!! ALL CAPS!!!
In all fairness, I did have e-help from Rachel’s sisters and her Maid of Honor. They brought amazing things with them when they arrived in town, but for the months preceding the event, I was Planny McPlanstein, making the plans and sorting out the logistics. (I’m not asking for a pat on the back here, I’m merely explaining why I’m the one writing this blog entry. Shall I stop with the parentheses now? Methinks I shall.)
Rachel told me early on that due to the mixed interests of the women who would be in attendance, the stereotypical night on the town would not be the ideal scenario. She wanted a chill, albeit booze-infused, evening full of yummy snacks, relaxation, and good old fashioned girly fun. And since there ain’t no party like a slumber-style party, that’s exactly what we had!
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
The Ink48 Hotel, people. Why have you never been there? If you live in New York, it’s so worth hoofing it to 11th Avenue to have rooftop cocktails in The Press Lounge. It’s one of the sexiest rooftop bars in the city. Just trust me and go there. Or, if you’re visiting from out of town, the Ink48 is the ideal place to stay because it’s walking distance from Times Square, but far enough that you aren’t in the midst of the annoying hullabaloo.
We had a gorgeous Junior Suite on the 14th floor, with gigantic windows overlooking the Hudson River. Add one empty fridge (for the white wine and champagne), one inflatable bed (to make more sleep space), and copious amounts of penis-y decorations, and voila! Our Slumber Chamber was complete!
CHEESE + DIPS = DINNER
Rachel and I have always been in favor of skipping a traditional entrée in exchange for the ability to load up on delicious cheeses and dips. It has gotten to the point where she no longer asks me if I want to meet for dinner, she asks if I want to meet for cheese. One of our favorite places to do this is Kashkaval. Upon first sight, Kashkaval looks like a market because there is deli-style counter service right inside the entryway, but further back is a cozy dining room with a fireplace and brick walls and all the wine and melty cheesy fondue goodness a person could hope for. When I learned that Kashkaval also has catering services with amazing platters of tapas and cheeses and meats and Mediterranean dips, I was sold. Just look…
LOOK WHAT THEY BROUGHT US:
Do you even know how happy Rachel was? And there was other stuff not pictured here, like pastries filled with spinach and feta and lots of pita for the dips. It was all so delicious and perfect. Definitely check out http://www.kashkaval.com/catering and use them for your next party. It’s a no-brainer.
AY, THERE’S THE RUB
Rachel wanted a massage station. Of course she did. Who wouldn’t? So I reached out to Mark Fisher Fitness’s bodywork wizard, John O’Mahoney. He was tall, strong, sexy, charismatic, and he was TALENTED. He was PERFECT. And he spent a lot of time on my BUTT. I’ll probably re-infiltrate this blog at a later date to say more once the official bodywork program at MFF has been rolled out, but in the meantime, enjoy the pecs and triceps on John. I know we did:
The rest was just silliness. We drank wine, we gobbled chocolate, we played games involving panties…it was perfection. While I was getting my much-needed rubdown, I overheard Rachel say it was the bachelorette party of her dreams. Great success! Nothing has ever made me happier…
…except this pic of Rachel with a penis-shaped squirt gun:
So, I received a call last week from my good friend Paul over at Demetrios (http://demetriosbride.com/) telling me that my dress had come in. When I think back on the call, it plays through my mind like a happy Disney number, something out of Beauty & the Beast where the baker & the librarian & the village people (not those village people) dance hand-in-hand as birds chirp in delight.
Technically, it was just a call to schedule the first fitting. But Paul can make just about anything magical.
I arrived at the Demetrios fitting location wearing 12 gallons of water. We were having the equivalent of a Tsunami here in NYC & after walking ten blocks with some ineffective cloth and metal claiming to be an umbrella, I was in no shape to don the gown of my dreams. After drying off as best I could, I went in the fitting room with Emily, a lovely woman with a sharp pair of scissors and the confidence to snip & mark a dress in seconds.
Trying on the dress was (and I know how cliche this word is), surreal. It’s my dress! And it’s on me in a room with beautiful lighting! And we’re cutting it to fit me! Which is also scary because I still haven’t married (ha!) my shoe choice, an important factor in determining the length of my dress. I bought these online, but they were super tight so I’ve ordered them up a size & we’ll see how they fit. I love the antique quality & the “something blue” aspect.
Random aside: I can’t love bustling more. Good god, I love a giant bustled JLo booty. The more that thing sticks out, the better. Am I tiptoeing into fetish territory here? I don’t mean to, I just love those old fashioned pics of renaissance women with a huge bustled badonkadonk. I have to say: my dress, when bustled, is a booty-riffic sight to behold.
So, we’re rolling! The awesome peeps at Demetrios are hard at work making my dress fit perfectly. I made it clear to Emily that I have no interest in actually breathing in the gown, so she can take it in until I have completely impossible barbie-sized proportions. Which means I damn well better stop eating between now & my next fitting in early August. And let me tell you, I have every intention of doing just that. After this bowl of ice cream. And maybe one Cadbury bar. But then for real! Except for going out to dinner tonight. But after that?! Forget about it!
(also Sunday brunch. BUT AFTER THAT?! IT’S ONNNNN!)
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t enjoy a photo booth. If I were a betting woman (& I’m not, I’m much more of a shopper than a gambler), I would put an obscene amount of money down on the fact that given the choice between “photo booth” & “no photo booth” in nearly every (non-tragic) situation, 99% of respondents would choose “photo booth”. Because they are just stupid fun.
One of the first things Richie & I agreed on for the wedding (right after I shot down Midget KISS) was the absolute necessity of having a photo booth.
Now, I should clarify something: I’m a purist. I think the term “photo booth”, as it relates to weddings, has been insultingly watered down mean a drop cloth with a background, a couple goofball props & a polaroid. That’s a fun “photo situation”, maybe. But booth…it is not.
So in my extensive research, I’m happy to report that I finally stumbled upon a company with similar standards. Meet my friends at NYC Photobooth. They had me at this sentence:
At the heart of our company is our esteemed staff, that are extremely well trained in every aspect of our photo booth services. Equipped with the finest photo booths made, we continue to add more customized styles to our fleet on a regular basis.
May I bring your attention to the word “FLEET”?! They’re not even joking. I didn’t even know the booth itself was something I’d get a vote in, from a design perspective. But they have an AMAZING selection of photo booths.
Since everything we’re doing has a cool antiquey feel, I fell in love with this 1920 vintage booth!
– 1920’s Style, NYCPB Custom designed Photo Booth
– Onsite Photo Booth attendant
– Up to four hours of services
– Unlimited B&W and Color Photos
– Customized Graphics on 4 x 6” photo-card
– Online Web Gallery
– Delivery/Set-UP and Removal of Photo Booth
– Custom designed Couture Album
– Fine Art Poster
If you need a photo booth (AND YOU DO!), I’m about to save you a zillion hours of booth research. A ZILLION! Here you go:
While their primary website resides here: http://www.nycphotobooth.com , I’d like to direct you to their Private Party Brochure, in which you can see ALL of the awesomeness that they can provide: http://www.nycphotobooth.com/docs/NYC_Photobooth_Celebrations.pdf . Tweet ’em: http://twitter.com/nycphotobooth or facebook ’em: http://www.facebook.com/nycphotobooth .