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#inappropriateweddingsongs

You know who I love?  Alex Skolnick.  You probably know him as the amazing rock god guitarist from Testament, currently touring with Anthrax.  Since my musical tastes don’t generally get much heavier than Dave Matthews when he’s cranky, I had no clue who Alex was.  Our worlds happened to randomly cross paths a while back and we became friends.  And in an amazingly short period of time, he became one of my very favorite people.  

You may know metal, and you may know Alex, but what you may NOT know is this: under that heavy metal armour lies a much gentler Skolnick, one who dances through tasty classic rock riffs with the delicate skill of an expert jazz musician. 

WHICH HE IS!  If you haven’t heard of the Alex Skolnick Trio, allow me to introduce you to the most surprisingly ideal combination of metal & jazz. 

The Alex Skolnick Trio

You have to experience them for yourself.  Immediately buy every album here:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/alex-skolnick-trio/id65917693

And then send me something off our wedding registry (http://bit.ly/MeSElc ) as thanks for introducing you to your new favorite band 🙂

I sang with Alex at the Iridium in NYC in March & it was an absolute honor to share the stage with someone I adore musically & personally.

All this to say, I had to share Alex’s recent & highly wedding-appropriate blog so we could discuss:

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Inappropriate Wedding Songs

by Alex Skolnick     http://alexskolnick.com

Though never a “wedding musician” myself, I have played at a few weddings at the request of good friends who are getting married. In jest, I’ve often thought of songs with titles inappropriate for a wedding the point of awkwardness. It’s fun to suggest these tunes in a deadpan manner to the bride, groom and family who are usually stressed from the wedding and appreciative of a good laugh.

I was reminded of this while reading about the recent wedding of Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook Founder and CEO to his girlfriend Priscilla Chan. At 28 years old, Zuckerberg, the worlds’ youngest self-made billionaire, can pretty much afford to hire anyone he wants to play at his wedding. So he hired his favorite musician, Billy Joe Armstrong, lead singer and songwriter of Green Day.

Now I wouldn’t call myself a Green Day fan, but I do like some of their songs. And I’m not a big Facebook fan – it’s a useful invention that is dangerously habit forming (much like television) – but I do use it sparingly. So it is with all respect to Billy Joe and well wishes to the happy couple that I wonder out loud: is this the right guy to be singing your wedding?

Think about the titles of Green Day’s biggest tunes: Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Stuck with Me. Basket Case. Then there’s Green Day’s biggest hit, often referred to as Time of Your Life but that has two words for its official title:

GOOD RIDDANCE.

News of the Zuckerberg wedding gave me a new song to add to my “Inappropriate Wedding Songs” list. Keep in mind, there are plenty of songs with the right (or rather, wrong) lyrical content- You Oughtta Know or I Will Survive, for example) but what we’re talking about here are songs with titles that just scream “inappropriate.”

Of course there are many more out there, so if you think of any good ones, feel free to add ‘em to the list. Here then are ten songs not meant to be heard on a day of matrimony. Enjoy!

Ten Inappropriate Wedding Songs

10. Good Riddance (Green Day)

9. Your Cheatin’ Heart (Hank Williams Sr.)

8. Go Your Own Way (Fleetwood Mac)

7. Already Gone (The Eagles)

6. You Give Love A Bad Name (Bon Jovi)

5. I Don’t Care Anymore (Phil Collins/Genesis)

4. 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover (Paul Simon)

3. Goodbye To Romance (Ozzy Osbourne)

2. The Thrill Is Gone (BB King)

1. Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You (Led Zeppelin)

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If you’re anything like me, a hundred more examples just popped in your head (uhh, see my blog about rethinking my plan to Daddy/Daughter dance to “Strangers in the Night” once I reallllly listened to those lyrics). 

Immediately after Alex posted his blog, the Twitterverse was ablaze with #inappropriateweddingsongs & a top 5 global trending topic was born.  Which makes him a COMPLETE TWITTERLEBRITY in my book!!!

The snowball continued, as Huffington Post picked up the ball & ran with it:

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Twitterers Reveal The Most Inappropriate Wedding Songs

Huffington Post Weddings 5/30/12

Similar to how guests know not to wear white to someone’s Big Day, there are just some things you know NOT to do when it comes to weddings. From downing one too many drinks at the bar to texting during the vows, some behaviors are just, well, inappropriate.

One of the top things to avoid is playing (or requesting) any song at the wedding reception that could potentially make the dance floor awkward. Or embarrass the bride or groom. Or is just plain wrong.

So when #InappropriateWeddingSongs began trending on Twitter Wednesday, we couldn’t help but to take note of these tunes — and put them firmly on our do-not-play list.

Click through the slideshow below to see which inappropriate wedding songs the Twitterverse ruled out, and let us know: Which ones would you veto during your reception?

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I figured I’d open this fun topic up for discussion here.  What do YOU think is the most #inappropriateweddingsong??  I owe the DJ a list of “don’t play” songs, help me with my homework.

And I also thought I’d use this blog to share some ridiculously cool news…we booked our wedding band.  And drumroll please….you might guess who by reading this blog 🙂  While it’s not EXACTLY the full Alex Skolnick Trio, since it’s namesake is touring (damn you, Anthrax!), we’ve got 2/3 of the dream team.  And someone I trust implicitly on musical direction is actually subbing himself out (DAMN YOU, ANTHRAX!) & prepping his own fill in. 

I’m so excited to have that 3 piece instrumental vibe for the cocktail hour before our ceremony.  It’s such a nice musical collaboration of the vintage space (who doesn’t love a little upright bass?!) & iconic music (who doesn’t love a little Kiss?!)*.

WOOHOOOOOO!

Rach

*No, I’m not talking about “Mini Kiss”, the little person tribute band (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini_Kiss ), and the first of Richie’s wedding band choices I had to veto.

Not. Even. Kidding.

Expansion in the Blogosphere!

So, most of you know I’m now a double blogger. In that I’m writing not one but TWO blogs these days, the second being for the Huffington Post’s new wedding section:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-fine

And because you guys have known me for a while now & I can pretty much say whatever I want here without fearing complete misunderstanding, I gotta take a sec to share my first HuffPo blog…and, more specifically, the battery of comments that followed it.  Because THIS you gotta see.

 

I Now Pronounce You… Girlie 

by Rachel Fine, Huffington Post Contributing Writer

 

Why, hello readers!  My name is (currently) Rachel Fine and I’m beyond honored to be writing for the Huffington Post.  Thank you for joining me on this, my inaugural blog posting.

Before we get started on the intricate minutiae of going batsh*t insane trying to plan a wedding over the next 12 months and 2 days, I think you should know a little about me.  First off, I mentioned my name.  And I should say some more things about that, particularly in light of the fact that despite its permanency for the last 29 years, I’m trying very hard to embrace changing it.  You can’t have a last name like “Fine” (which yes, is my real last name — and yes, sucked as an awkward kid) without some attachment.

It’s been fantastic from a career perspective.  Working in music and television, it’s lent itself nicely to critiques (“Fine music to unwind to!”) and show titles (like Fine Time, the new show I’m working on for Howard TV).

So when Richie Wilson proposed to me a couple of months ago, the first thing that went through my head (after a minute of complete exhilaration and happy tears about spending my life with the man I love) was some sort of panicked mental expletive about trading the snappy and entertainment industry-friendly “Fine” for the, umm, sort of plain “Wilson” that I’ll be sharing with 650,293 others. Plus, can we please discuss how uncomfortably close it is to Rachel Bilson?! (who is actually on my TV right now promoting some new show that does not contain any sort of fun play off the word “Bilson.”  Sigh.)

Now let me tell you about the second thought that went through my head.

It’s a lot to adjust to, the idea of marriage. I don’t know why, but I’ve always identified strongly as a very “Independent Woman.”  As a teen, I was the only female in a nationally competitive drum line.  Prior to working full time in entertainment, I was a Senior VP in corporate America.  I’ve always thrived in a man’s world, and to do that, you almost gotta shut off your girlie side.  I’m starting to think there may be a whole generation of chicks like me who grew up with “Free to Be… You and Me” on repeat and are now having a tough time embracing their inner girlie-ness.

The idea of excelling at any domestic-type activity always had a Taming of the Shrew vibe to me.  As if cooking my man a pot roast would somehow invite the destruction of my inner being via a 50 foot Godzilla version of Donna Reed.  And seriously, this underlying belief system has been in place since kindergarten, when I vehemently declared blue as my favorite color due entirely to the teacher’s strict insistence on pink nap time blankets for the girls.

Here’s a fun example of how not kidding I am about my utter suckitude at domestication: About 4 years ago I got a hankerin’ for slice-and-bake cookies.  I made 4 of them.  The gas company called me immediately (I swear to you this is true) highly concerned about a probable gas leak due to the dramatic spike in usage versus the prior 10 years.  Because I turned my oven on  (or stove?  I always mix those two words up.  The inside part that I now use for storage, not the top part).

Luckily I can order in like a champ.

My point is, the idea of being somebody’s wife kinda freaks me out!  Am I alone here, or are other modern day Rosie the Riveters out there struggling in silence?

And now I gotta plan this wedding.  And I’m supposed to have highly developed lifelong preferences on the cakes and the dresses and the flowers for the big day of my dreams.  And I like… good cake.  And… pretty dresses.  And flowers… that smell good.  But beyond that, I seriously have no clue where to start.

So maybe you can help.  I’m gonna need a lot of advice over the next 12 months and 2 days.

Something blue,

Rachel

 

Relatively innocuous, no? So when I saw 90 people fighting in the comment section, I was pretty surprised.  Here are a couple highlights for your perusal (in fairness I’m grabbing all the whack ones, not the awesome people who were supportive and insightful):

Just curious, why do you believe “independe­nce” is “rarely cooking” (it is the example you gave of your definition of an independen­t “self-imag­e”)? You honestly think women today who cook aren’t independen­t? Did it ever occur to you that maybe people (man or woman) cook because it’s cheaper and healthier, not because they are conforming to a dated stereotype­?  

Don’t do it. Love him forever w/out marriage will keep it fresh. Marriage is great for a few people but most divorce.If you are lucky enough to have love cherish it .Why ruin it ?

I have zero interest in marriage. Having someone occupy my space for more than 2 days makes my skin crawl.  

I think you would be well advised to drop the marriage idea, at least for now.  

Hey, I have a suggestion – dont get married.  

You will be great wife just the way that you are just like you were a great girlfriend however you may need to step it up a notch in the cooking department

Well, you can blame parasites for your dilemma.  You ladies need a man in your life so that any of your children down the road have some chance of being healthy in the chronic arms race that our species (and others) wage against parasites.  As Darwin argued, the nature of men is shaped by the choices made by women (female choice).  Your husband to be may not have a fancy, colorful, peacock’s tail, but he certainly has some virtues that you found attractive­.  If you are lucky, you have chosen well. May you both have a happy life together!  

Sounds to me like you don’t even know how to be your own person, nevermind being someone else’s partner. Call off the wedding and wait a minute. You’re not ready.  

my question is, if you aren’t excited to become a wife and form a partnershi­p (and therefore no longer be just an individual­)… why, why, why would you get married???

The point I don’t understand in this article is wanting to be independen­t, but also be married.  Those things contradict each other.

 

And there you have it.

Here’s the thing.  Any time you’re in the public eye, you’re on the less fun end of a very critical “fan” base.  And 95% of the time, I let that stuff roll off my back- in the words of the great Bonnie Raitt, I can’t make you love me if you don’t.  So these comments didn’t hit my heart on a personal level (puhleeze- if I can handle 4 pages on a fan board about my massive, giant, horrific, disgusting nose without running to a surgeon*, I can handle anything). But these comments were just WEIRD.  Like maybe they really misunderstood me? Maybe I wasn’t clear in my writing? Or maybe it’s all part of a bigger “sign of the times” debate happening globally about gender roles & identity?  Interesting either way, wanted to hear your thoughts since you guys know me better.

xoxo,

R

 

*yet. No promises.