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We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Blog…

Ok, I suck.  It’s been way too long between blog posts.  And while I’d like to blame it on things like impromptu trips to Florida, AC, Philly & Wisconsin (and I sort of do), I take full responsibility (except see above).

First off, before I even get into wedding-y stuff, the response to my last blog post was…amazing.  I got emails and facebook messages and tweets from so many of you who were touched by our sentiment.  I wish I had the words to tell you how much it hit my heart to know that what we wrote was so well received.  It’s always a little scary to take a stand that you know full well will (and did) alienate some people.  I can tell you that in hindsight after the TENS OF THOUSANDS of webhits my last post received, not only did I feel heartfelt appreciation from so many of our gay friends, but I also received a couple messages from people who stopped to rethink their position and have started to feel differently about the issue.  That’s beyond words amazing.  It takes a lot to admit you may have been wrong about something (ask Richie- I think he’s heard those words come out of my mouth maybe once? And if pressed I might still deny it), so I wholeheartedly congratulate those of you who paused to reflect.  I know, I know- a little blog that made a couple people think is a drop of water on a blaze, but it’s also indicative of the fact that change begets change and one voice can inspire thousands.  So, you know, say something.

Speaking of saying, I need to say one more thing about the subject before I return you to your regularly scheduled blog, as promised by the now slightly misleading blog title.

My dad LOVES the picture Richie & I took with NOH8.  Loves it.  To an embarrassing extent.  Like, he’s had it printed in 8x10s, had it blown up to poster size, mounted it on foam core board, and had some sort of canvas portrait created as well.  I literally can’t get away from myself, which is completely creepy.  I’m waiting for my next birthday present to come wrapped in custom marriage announcement wrapping paper as I sit home in my NOH8 pic checkered pajama pants, cuddling with my custom printed throw blanket, sipping coffee from a mug with my face looking sternly back at me.  Essentially, our duct tapped faces are everywhere & it’s gotten slightly out of hand.

So, it came as no surprise that my dad sent our picture to a popular website to have custom postage stamps printed so our smiling faces could haunt the upper right hand corner of every letter he mails out (also, who even sends letters anymore? But I digress).

Imagine his surprise when his order was rejected & he received this email:


Dear Frank,

Unfortunately, we are currently unable to accept the image you have submitted as part of your order.

For this reason, your entire order has been canceled and your credit card will not be charged. We were unable to accept your image for the following reason:

This image was not accepted because it did not meet our content guidelines. Click here for more info on our content

Please note that owing to privacy concerns, our customer support representatives do not have access to any submitted images and they cannot provide additional details on why your submission did not meet our content guidelines.

We thank you for ordering from us and we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. We encourage you to try again.


So naturally, I looked up content restrictions and found this:


Content Restrictions: You agree not to upload, order for print, or otherwise transmit or communicate any material for any unlawful purpose or that is obscene, offensive, blasphemous, pornographic, sexually suggestive, deceptive, threatening, menacing, abusive, harmful, an invasion of privacy, supportive of unlawful action, defamatory, libelous, vulgar, violent, or otherwise objectionable.


Ok, seriously.  Blasphemous? Pornographic? Deceptive? Obscene?  Do I need to post the picture again?

What about our pro-marriage equality statement did they find so thoroughly offensive?

There are many companies who print custom photo stamps.  I thought long and hard about whether or not to publicly blast these guys on here (umm, obviously I found the CEO’s home address and I’m not gonna lie- it might have been fun to start a friendly campaign of sorts- perhaps exploring stamp designs more…overtly…in violation of the aforementioned “content restrictions”), but ultimately I’ve thought better of it.  When I look at what happened as a whole, it just serves as a reminder that as open as NY has proven to be post-equality vote, the rest of the country’s just not there yet.   If more people speak up, hopefully we can get to a point where any loving relationship….can be pictured on a postage stamp?


Ok, so it’s now clear that my blog post title was a complete (but unintentional!) lie.  Seriously though, how could I go back to dress shopping (OMG! I have so much to tell you!) and cake tastings (I’m trying the chocolate peanut butter invention next week!! Wheee! Free cake!!) when the custom postage stamp industry had some ‘splainin to do? 🙂


Love to all of you-



FINE! Change?!

I decided to blog.  I’ve been thinking about it for a while but I never knew exactly what I wanted to talk about. 

And then Richie asked me to marry him last week. 

So instead of freaking out the random strangers I’ve grabbed in a panic to talk about wedding do’s and dont’s, I thought it was the perfect time to take to the blogosphere for some sanity.

Step one was naming this thing.   You can’t have a last name like “Fine” (which YES, is my real last name- and YES, sucked as an awkward kid) without exploiting it in titles whenever possible.  That was a given.  Here were some title contenders:


(My issue here was that I’m not the chick who has been pressuring the dude for years to marry her …or even dreamed of weddings as a little girl…& I felt like “FINEally!!!!!!” implied that.  Although it’s almost awesome, so I was on the fence for a minute.)

“FINE. I’ll marry you.”

(This one sounds less enthusiastic than I am.  Like it should be read with an exasperated sigh.  No bueno.)

“FINE. Be that way.”

(I’m not gonna lie.  I always assumed if I had a blog, that’s what I’d name it.  It’s so sassy!  I want to snap in a Z-formation!  But it really had nothing to do with a wedding, so…maybe you’re looking at THE TITLE OF THE NEXT GREAT BLOG I WRITE?!?  EH…??  Ok, getting ahead of myself.  It doesn’t work for this one and I need to stay focused.)

And then Richie suggested “A Fine Change”.  And I knew we were close.  I enjoy multiple meanings, particularly those impacted by punctuation.  Here’s what’s cool about “Fine Change” as it relates to getting hitched:

A) It IS a fine change in my life! I’m excited about it!  -> Fine change!

B) The idea of marriage is a HUGE adjustment for me.  I’m just not domestic in any way & I totally identify with being an independent woman. Fine, I want to marry you…but I’m gonna have to learn to change a bit. -> Fine…change.

C) Wait! Do I have to change my last name, Fine?! -> Fine? CHANGE??

(do you see how cool this is getting?)

D) (read in self-talk voice) “Fine, it’s time to grow up. To evolve. To change.” -> Fine, change.  

Woah… I’m getting that thing where the word “change” has stopped looking like a real word because I’ve used it 6,000 times.  It’s REALLY starting to look like chang-y.  I guess that’s my cue to stop (or to nap).

In summary, I’m scared to death about planning a wedding.  I know NOTHING about this stuff and I need you guys.  I need advice, I need opinions, I need your warnings, I need your shrink’s number (kidding…kind of). I need to stop mumbling wedding-related thoughts to myself as I walk down the street because I have no outlet to share my scattered thoughts on the subject.  By reading this blog, you’re essentially saving me from looking like the crazy homeless (SLASH or is she talking on a bluetooth?) lady.  Don’t leave me out here in cyberspace on my own.  I need you in this thing with me.



I'm marrying this guy 🙂