Love is Love.

I interrupt this frivolous blog to bring you an important message.  Feel free to tune out if you were hoping for a diatribe on save-the-date etiquette (which I totally have questions on…but now’s not the time).

Richie and I released our engagement announcement today.  And we waited until now for a very specific reason.  As I type this, same sex marriage is being put to the Senate floor for a vote in New York.

Although I have strong beliefs across the board, there are very few political issues that I speak about publicly.  Coming from a family I love that happens to be filled with staunchly opposing political viewpoints, I’ve learned to shut my yap & just enjoy playing dominoes with the people I absolutely adore.  Because at the end of the day, they’re so much more than a party ticket.  Nothing I say will change their minds, just as nothing they say will change mine.  And instead of the frustration of trying again and again to craft the perfect argument that will cause some big “a ha!” moment where they’ll all see why my perspective clearly makes the most sense, I learned a long time ago that I don’t need someone to agree with me to make me “right”.  And when you really let go of that quest for approval of your opinion, you’re free to just love and appreciate other people, exactly where they are.

That being said, there are times when it’s important to take a stand.  When sitting in silence legitimately hurts another person.  I have too many gay friends not to stand up and say that equality matters.  I’ve watched them be mocked behind their backs, rejected by family, passed over for employment, turned down for adoptions.   I’m not speaking theoretically, I’ve seen every one of those examples first hand.  And it breaks my heart. 

So why is the word Marriage important, versus a Domestic Partnership or a Civil Union?  Very simply, our country tried “Separate but Equal” and we saw how well that turned out with Jim Crow Laws.  The truth is, separate is never equal.  It’s separate.  It separates.  It inherently teaches our children that one group of people are of a different class than another. 

I believe our grandchildren will look back at this time in history with some shame, and that saddens me.  It saddens me in the way our country’s discrimination towards women prior to the Suffrage Movement and, more poignantly, the dark blemish our practice of slavery left on our Nation’s history saddens me.   

All this to say that today, as this vote goes to the Senate, I’m encouraged.  I feel the excitement, the ground swell of change.  I feel an awakening and an awareness of an evolving generation that says “enough is enough”.  For the first time, I think progress is truly imminent.

So we chose to celebrate our engagement by standing up and saying something:

Love is love.


UPDATE 06/24/11 10:51 PM ET: GAY MARRIAGE PASSES IN NEW YORK!!!!  New York is now the 6th (& largest) state in the Union to adopt gay marriage!  Here’s my favorite quote: “when Republican Roy McDonald famously defended his unexpected decision, saying “fuck it, I don’t care what you think. I’m trying to do the right thing” — the scale in favor of gay marriage seemed to tip.”

What an amazing day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


About Rachel

Posted on June 24, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hi Rachel 🙂 Love that word diatribe!! Thanks for this blog!! I often question my beliefs/stance in this highly charge politico/religious genre. I try so hard not to be a hypocrite but it is a given in any ground you make a stake…I am questioning daily my faith, view points, ‘staunch’ opinions :p I too have the most wonderful, morally awesome homosexual friends who would never abuse children like many heterosexually (approved by biblical standards) accepted married folks. Who are we to pass judgment? We live in such a diverse culture now, where there are so many different factors involved. I was brought up Baptist and eventually diverted to non-dominational (sp?) Christianity. I have learned that homosexuality is a sin, but so is sexual immorality (sex outside of marriage)..Well, I had a beautiful child outside of wedlock…so who am I to judge? No one person is perfect, but let’s take a look at ourselves first before we point a sanctimonious finger at someone else. I know this may open up a Pandoras box of questions about pedophiles, serial killers, etc……I don’t know the answers to this deep subject. I do know what love is when I see it, and I have seen it in my ‘questionable’ friends, beyond what I have seen in ‘socially acceptable’ acquaintances!! Anyway, thanks for your blog/commentary :),
    Elaine/Nathan’s Cousin 😉

    • Elaine I REALLY admire you for sharing. It has to be genuinely hard to be brought up with a very specific set of black & white rules as fact and then allow yourself to question how that truly resonates in your heart. I know many people who would not be able to look at the issue with the same compassionate discernment. Way to grow!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxo R

  2. Sometimes, in this, my middle, age, I despair that my generation has a prayer of leaving the world better than we found it–statements like this lift my spirits! Bless you and Big Congratulations!

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